so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
