This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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