There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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