go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
