That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
