Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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