NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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