he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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