that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
