you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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