Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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