id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
