My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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