Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
