I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
