CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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