I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize