so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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