Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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