yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
