There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
