I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Found your dick twin last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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