And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
