Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
