He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
