Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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