Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
