Im at strip club and am horny
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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