So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
