it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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