Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
