At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
