We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
