I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
