there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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