I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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