One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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