I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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