brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
