Your face is a jimmy john
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
MIDGETS
????
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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