Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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