I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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