is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
