Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
