I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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