Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize