Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
