think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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