He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
