I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
