Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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