So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
