No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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