Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
