It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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