I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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