I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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