he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
