so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
