I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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