His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
