I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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