He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
