Ambien. No doubt about it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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