I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
