Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
