I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's just like the Real World with babies
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize