I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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