You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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